Motherhood – The 80/20 Rule

Motherhood – An act of care that defines an individual’s experiences, but also defines oneself.

Everyone has something in common, we all have mothers, we may be mothers, and we may be daughters aspiring to be mothers someday. Mothers are powerful; we are all connected through motherhood.

Motherhood is humbling, challenging and greatly rewarding. Motherhood perfectly fits the 80\20 rule – 80% our mothering life we experience the joys of being a mother. Motherhood is a gift; it marks a woman’s completeness. We juggle multiple tasks, act as comforters, guidance counsellors, disciplinarians and a friend. The experience is priceless. 20% of our mothering life we experience the challenges attached to motherhood. Being human we tend to dwell more on the challenges we face than the joys we experience. We strive to be superheroes, doing a million and one thing at a time and still not feeling good enough.

Motherhood is a voyage of self-discovery, with each waking day, we explore within us to know who and what we really are, how we have changed from who we used to be, how we have forgotten to remember before we became mothers, we were ‘girls’ with our own identities and needs.

Motherhood is a very challenging and ongoing task. It doesn’t come with a set of rules, it can be scary, we are afraid to make mistakes, we forget about self-care and a lot of other feeling follow. Our internal prosecutor goes into overdrive, telling us we are not ‘good mothers’, that great mothers know how to do motherhood so much better than we do.  We begin to compare ourselves with a super mum we believe to know, but then, what happens to our confidence level?

A decade ago, was judged as selfish for mothers to love themselves. However, in this new age, it’s not selfish to love ourselves. The most important relationship in our lives is the relationship we have with ourselves. Not knowing ourselves creates a disconnection, and an emotional unavailability to us, and also to others. Loving ourselves means having a deep appreciation for who we are. We accept all the different parts of ourselves—our little peculiarities, the embarrassments, the things we may not do so well, and all our wonderful qualities without putting conditions on our love.

Mothers, everything in life flows from our relationship with ourselves, loving ourselves makes life an amazing place to be. We feel better and we create better relationships. Loving oneself is really a simple premise and I have come to realise that the simple things in life are usually the most profound.

Loving ourselves helps us to get to know ourselves better by focussing on our internal processes, this allows us to tune effortlessly into our sacred gift of intuition.

It’s liberating to know, that we are not alone – every mother goes through the same process. As mothers; let us learn to manage our expectations, create more memories and fewer expectations as expectations set us up for a life of frustration.

When times are tough, be gentle on yourself and extend the art of forgiveness on oneself. When times are good, relish them. When we learn to treat ourselves like someone worthy of love, respect, and compassion with a grateful spirit, life becomes a joyful experience.

Mothers step fully and boldly into your life. Believe you are doing the best you can and that you are enough!

Motherhood – An act of care that defines an individual’s experiences, and defines you by making you complete. My mother always says “our possessions will never make us happy, it is who we become that make us happy” I found this to be true in my journey of motherhood.